first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
