I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
