All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Hippo gnu deer
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
