yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just made out with a guy for $7.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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