nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
