Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
