I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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