Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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