dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
