my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
