Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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