i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wish my penis had a tongue
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize