the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
