guys are not supposed to queef...right?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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