hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize