Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
