It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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