I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
