when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What a fucking waste of an outfit
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
