Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
