So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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