Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
50% drunk capacity currently
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
