You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize