Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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