found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize