it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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