chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize