note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
