I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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