good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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