butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize