got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
