craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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