Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
