Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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