Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
