Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
