I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
