Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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