Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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