Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
