didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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