I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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