Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
