There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can I color on your dick again?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
