There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
