You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
