last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
