I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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