New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
