I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
