Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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