I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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