question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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