What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize