I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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