You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
