Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
