I wanna bring you to show and tell
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
