I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
