I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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