At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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